How to soften a biscuit.

I saw someone today trying to deal with the frequent and totally avoidable irritation of trying to fish a soggy biscuit out of a cup a tea, for which I have no sympathy. I think somebody did some research once on the optimum time to dunk a biccy before it falls apart, taking the temperature dependence and other variables into account of course. But there should be no need for research like this if people would just learn to do biscuit softening the right way, which is to dunk it in your mouth.

Obviously the best way to soften a biscuit before eating it is not to dunk it into your tea. If you do that you'll get 3 possible problems.

1)The most annoying of course is you leave it dipped in the tea too long, it falls apart, and you end up with a biscuit sludge at the bottom of your cup. Which is crap.

2)Dunking lets small amounts of sugars and possibly chocolate topping to dissolve into your tea, changing the sweetness. Which is crap.

3)Finally, (really just the converse of 1) it's hard to control the softening of the biscuit, meaning that you may leave it too short a time and the biscuit is still hard.

This can all be solved by doing the following, first break up the biscuit into mouth-sized pieces. Put a piece in your mouth, take a mouthful of tea. You dunk it in your mouth. Enjoy. All the aforementioned problems are solved.

Now this does have a small problem which is that with a mouthful of tea and biscuit you can't talk, depending on the biscuit type, for anything from 2 to 8 seconds. But all in all I think that this can be overlooked cause dunking biscuits in your mouth makes the world a slightly better place.